Reflection

What is reflection of self?
Looking into a mirror itself?
One must look deep into themselves,
To find what else,
But the truth that's lost,
Within ourselves.

Doors

One must close the door,
To move forward more,
Not closing the door,
Will only lure,
One into the long, lost, past,
Of memories that'll last,
Learning to close the door,
Will aide moving on from the past.

Drilled

Drilled into us,
As we age we see things,
That has been drilled into us,
By those around us as we grew,
Some good,
Looking both ways before crossing the street,
Saying please and thank you,
Some bad,
Biting your nails,
Way you drive,
Things one may say,
Then some you wish you never had,
Feeling the constant need to apologize,
For things one has no control over,
That immediate "I'm sorry",
-(Because whenever is it not your fault)-
An impulsive feeling of being guilty,
No matter what happened,
You should have been able to prevent it.

I Am As Desiree....

Others may say I’m as bubbly as shaken up pop ready to explode on a hot summer day.

 But I know I am as creative as a designer is in the most important thought that could become a breakthrough in their career.

Others tend to think I am as courageous like a dare devil doing the stunt that no one in history will forget.

 

But I know I’m as helpful like a map that you use when you’re lost in a blazing fire desert.

 

Others may think I’m as warm welcoming as apple pie just brought out of the oven sitting on an open window sill.

 

But I know I am as dedicated to my work like a mama bear protecting her clubs from a predator.

 

Others think I am as hard working as an ant that works all day and can carry 20 times the size of their own weight.

 

But I know I am as clumsy like I have two left webbed while being spun around a billion times in circles.

 

Others think I am intelligent as a new high tech smart board that doesn’t have to think about the question.

 

But I know I am as loyal as a secret diary of no lips for memory that can share the hearts desires.

 

 Others think I am as colorful like a rainbow shining its bright color’s after a rain shower.

 

But I know I am as sincere as a teddy bear with extra softness to the heart with over flowing love.

 

 I am as Desiree as Desiree could be in a million years from now.

What was once there,
Is no longer there,
It shall never,
Be the same,
Feelings once there,
Have gone away,
Either,
Just faded,
Or,
Forced apart,
What was once there,
Is no longer,
It shall never,
Be the same.

Endless,
Streams,
Of thoughts,
None of which,
Are bright,
Sweet and kind,
Nor caring,
Just,
Bitter dark,
Honest true,
Feelings,
Buried,
Deep down,
Kept to myself.

Have a broken,
Mind and heart,
That will never be perfect,
Forever damaged.

Slipping,
Falling,
Into a,
Dark never ending,
Gaping whole,
Gasping for air,
Screaming and scratching,
From the inside,
Meanwhile there is,
An emotionless,
Hard cover,
Slowly dying,
A little more,
Everyday.

Music,

Helps drown out,
Voices of others,
Blasting it so loud,
So I cant hear my own thoughts,
The only,
Time I have my mind at peace,
The only,
Type of quiet I can keep,
Without music,
All there is,
Are peoples voices and opinions,
Along with my dreaded thoughts,
Where as,
With music,
There is only music,
No overcrowding,
The only,
Time I have my mind at peace.

At the Gloom of the Night

Where,
Painful tearful,
Thoughts,
Happen the most,
Bringing nightmares to you,
As you lay wide awake,
Thoughts,
Of things you tried so hard to forget,
So hard to move on,
So hard to forget,
So hard to be strong,
And yet,
With every day,
During the daylight,
It gets easier,
Then comes along,
At the gloom of the night,
Nightmared nights of,
Painful tearful,
Thoughts.

When the world has,

Crashed down on you,
There's nothing left,
You can do to fight,
Just left out,
In the pouring rain,
Night of a thunder storm,
All alone,
The world is,
Crashing down on you,
There's nothing left,
You can do to fight.

Your life,

Don't hate it for the shit that happens,
Or the positions you have been put in,
If you hate your life,
Its because of the choices YOU have made,
You can change your life at any point.

Paths,

Make up,
Our decisions,
Our obstacles,
Our lives,
Who we are as a person.

That moment when,

Your stomach drops,
Heart races,
Mind fogs over,
Every thought disappears,
All worries,
Are either,
About to begin,
Or,
Have just been reassured.

We try so hard,

To not think about,
What's bothering us,
And yet,
Our brain,
Wonders,
Right back,
To what we tried,
So hard to not think about.

Memories,

Should be looked back upon,
And bring a smile to your face,
Although,
Memories,
Tend to be looked back upon,
And bring its depressing cloud along,
Memories,
Can last a life time,
Although,
The bad tends to replace the good,
So the memories,
Looked back upon,
Tend to be the ones,
That brings the dark depressing,
Cloud of thoughts.

Words,

Past memories,
Brought up,
Resurfaced,
Opening,
Once healed scars,
To freshly opened wounds.

You,

Make my days,
My mornings,
My evenings,
My nights,
You make my whole world,
Your the only one I think about,
The one who makes me smile,
Cry tears of joy,
The thought of you leaves me with,
Butterflies fluttering around in my stomach,
Its the best feeling ever,
Every time we talk,
I am never shy with you,
I can talk to you about anything,
You know me better then anyone,
Your flaws make you perfect in my eyes,
We never run out of things to say,
Never an awkward moment,
You are the one,
I can always depend on.

Perfect

No one is perfect,
Nor do I expect them to be,
Never hurt me or others,
Always try to do your best,
Even if you may fall,
There is a reason why,
Each difficulty in your life,
Teaches you a lesson,
Live like your dying,
Laugh like there's no tomorrow,
Have no regrets,
You may not be perfect,
But you try.

My Heart

My heart is open,
Fragile yet strong,
Understanding yet hard at forgetting,
Unconditional love that never ends,
Each lie cuts my heart,
Each time you say something mean,
Leaves a cut on my heart,
Once you cut my heart,
It takes forever to heal,
The scares always remain,
Its fragile,
Be sure to never hurt it,
And if you do,
My heart is strong,
Every day that goes by,
My heart will get stronger in,
Either getting over and forgetting you or,
Staying and learning how to continue going on,
If you truly mean it shall never happen again,
My heart shall remain open,
It beats for my one and only love,
The one who keeps me sane,
The one I love.